And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
