Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
