she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
