thus making me awesome and them whores
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
