if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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