My balls are so social today.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
