I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
