sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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