OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It all started with a game of naked twister.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
