ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
