I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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