dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
