Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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