i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
