I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
