i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
