hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
