He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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