the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i've created a new STD.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
