i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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