She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
