I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
