Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
