Im at strip club and am horny
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
