I'm drive I can fine osifer
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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