i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
That was before I lit my hair on fire
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
