I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
