Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
