my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
So here I am, sexting at work.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
