Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
