Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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