girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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