Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
