Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
