Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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