It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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