the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
