Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
