I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
