theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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