I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
