Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
