We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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