I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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