I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
