If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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