I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
