Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
