I will die if light touches me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
