Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
