I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
please come you make the beer taste better
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
