His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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