im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize